Increasing ignorance of the family…

So my maid’s daughter is in town. Today, as supposed to be, she is on off and decided to take her daughter out. Usually, on a normal Sunday, my brother would bring his family over for dinner, so my maid has to prepare food for them. So much for the off.

Here’s what happens on normal sundays.

Maid goes out, come back by 1630hrs to prepare dinner for my brother. Then I ask her if they are eating, she says “should be”. So I give him a call, 4/7 times, they are actually eating. The other 3 times, they either made plans to bring everyone out to dinner, planned to go out for dinner themselves or just plain not eating. See… The reason why my maid prepares them dinner is that they naturally come over for dinner on Sundays! It has come to a point where they don’t call to say whether or not they are eating. We only know when I call them. When they say they are not eating, the food is left to waste.

Then, there’s my mum who recently told me not to eat at home on sundays, give my maid some rest. Obviously not realising that she’s not cooking for me, but my brother and his useless family. When I do bring this point up to my mum, she says, “then when they are not eating give her some rest…” Right, so this is where I stand in the family, at the lowest priority.

More updates about the home…

I’ve recently done some counting and I realised I see my nephew and niece more than they see their parents on weekdays. Here are the numbers:

7am: wake up, prepare to go to Kong Kong’s place

8am: Arrive at Kong Kong’s place; parents leave for work

7pm: mum comes home, but wait, mum does not want to see the kids! She’s telling their maid to not tell them she’s back!

7.30pm: mum eats dinner, kids realise she’s home. mum tells them not to disturb her, she’s eating! So maid takes them away to watch tv

8pm: she’s finally free. Ready for dad to come for dinner and send them home.

8.30pm: reach home

9pm: sleep

A total of 3 hours spent looking at the parents, 2 hours spent interacting

On an odd day, where the mother is on leave (maternity leave on paper)

7am: wake up

9am: send kids over, dad does this

12pm: mum comes over for lunch and some interaction

1pm: kids go for nap nap, so does mum. mum puts them to bed, after which she goes to the guest room to sleep

3pm: kids wake up, shhh. don’t disturb mum, she’s asleep (don’t care about uncle who is also asleep)

5pm: mum wakes up, let’s go to the playground!

5.30pm: come back! mum needs to do some work now, maid takes kids away

6.30pm: dinner time, eat together. you’d think mum will feed the kids, WRONG. maid feeds them. she needs to eat and not waste time feeding them.

the rest of the evening is the same

total time 4 hours.

It seems that this may be very common in households these days… Parents producing children and having someone else take care of them while they are at work. However, note how my sister-in-law makes a conscious effort to avoid them. Taking the wonderful maternity leave (that is supposed to be used on spending time with kids) to sleep and do more work.

If that’s not enough, there’s the ever so common, church going priority. My brother and sister-in-law have this tendency to leave their children at my place while they go to church/bible study. Then there’s the “couple time” they like to have every other week, again, my place while the go off and have a nice dinner or trip (in which the children spend the whole time at my place).

argh… then there’s the “one kid is sick” issue… to quarantine their other non-sick child, the sick one is left at my place. regardless of me complaining that I don’t want to fall sick!

I know my brother lives really close to me. I also know that there are many young couples out there who seek domestic help to handle the workload. Seriously, you can get a maid, nanny, babysitter, etc. Do you really have to leave the entourage at my place??? burdening me, an undergrad, making me sick and disrupting me of my sleep/study.

I have begun to take the stance that they do not belong in this house. They can visit, but not stay here more than they have to. I am their uncle and I should be seeing less of them than their own bloody parents. From now on, everyday I see them, I’ll be reminding them of how their parents don’t care enough for them to take care of them and how I don’t give a shit about them as well. My mum says that they can’t handle the 2 kids on their own, but for some strange reason, they are having their 3rd! So I’m ignoring my mum’s comments on this.

My dad will continue to scold the shit out of them, while I continue to remind them that they are not loved by the people who brought them into this world.

My nephew and his new toy/friend…

Codenamed : Koo Koo Jiao

Right, there’s nothing much happening so far, but this is big news… The little boy decides that nothing is more fun than watching Playhouse Disney while stroking his new found friend. Just the other day, Winnie and I were having dinner and he slowly comes up to us and say, “Uncle Jem, I am watching TV (while stroking his new found friend).” Me being the loving uncle, “Ok.” That’s one account. Winnie had it worse, “Auntie Winnie, come watch with me (again, with his new found friend).” Winnie being the future auntie that she is, “ok…” Of course, at heart, we don’t give a shit.

Today coincidentally was the day we were both having separate job interviews and at 8am, the nephew starts crying his ass off! For what reason? His baby sister was watching Barney and he wanted to watch Playhouse Disney! So, after his maid switched the channels, he continues to cry!!! (while stroking his new found friend) So, me being the loving uncle, caring for his wellbeing, went up to him and asked (with a 60dB voice) “what do you want?” All he says is, “I don’t want!!! I don’t want……. etc. (while stroking his new found friend).” Since the noise level was too high, I decided to throw him out of the house and have breakfast. Thing is, he could have simply opened the door, but he chose to bounce around outside the door screaming and throwing himself onto the door (while stroking his new found friend). He eventually opened the door by chance and he continues to cry! Only after threatening to slap him in the face that he decided to shut up and watch TV…

That’s just my interaction with him. Over the past few weeks, Winnie and I have been observing him and his interactions and have noticed that no one really gives a shit about him and likewise, he does not give a shit about anyone! When I come home, not a word from him, when my dad comes home, nothing and when his parents come home, nothing! Even after his parents ask him to greet, nothing! If that’s not enough, he continues to watch TV while stroking his new found friend!?

So in essence, I look forward to seeing him grow up and wonder what kind of child he would turn out to be. I strongly believe that he would make a good psych case study and that some graduates should consider taking him on for their PhD thesis.

Goodbye…

My dear dogs… Alfie and Reno, sorry for not being able to take care of you. You guys stink and are so ill…

My family’s had these two dogs for about 7 years already. My dad just showed up with them one morning and yea. Unfortunately, like my nephew and niece, once we got them, we didn’t give a care about them…

They had to endure years of abuse by my parents and lack of interest on my part. It was a heartbreaking moment watching both of them being put down…

So here’s an update on what’s keeping me all pissed…

My “beloved” brother, decides to take a “family” vacation to Sentosa minus the maid. The trip was supposed to last from Monday afternoon till Wednesday afternoon. However, just a few minutes ago, he showed up with the kids in hand, all crying and screaming. I was taking a nap when they woke me up. When I asked him what the devil are the kids doing here, he said he wants some alone time with his wife… So the kids will be here for the night. When I asked him why he has to leave them here and not bring them back to his place, he said, “well, they are already here, too bad!” I decided to call my mom to save me and to no avail, she only saves me from 1 of them. As of now, my brother has taken 1 kid somewhere plus their maid and leaving the oldest (nicknamed son of the devil as his father is a member of the KKK Singapore chapter) one here.

This is nothing new actually. In the past, my house has been used as a quarantine facility when any of the kids are not feeling well, from hand-foot-mouth to H1N!, they end up sending their nights and days here coughing all over my food. When my brother has to work late, they spend the night here as well as his wife (whom my grandma nicknamed Kayu) does not want to be disturbed. Bare in mind, these acts happen regardless of whether or not my father is around to take care of them.

My parents defend my brother by saying that they can’t handle the children by themselves and need help from my family, but isn’t that why people aren’t having so many kids? Because they KNOW they can’t handle the kids? Yes, we should do our part as Singaporeans to have many many children, but if we cannot take care of our kids or even want to spend time raising our kids, shouldn’t we at least not trouble other people for our shortcomings?